Just returned from dinner at Muthu's Curry with my fellow PCs of Paladin Coy (the old batch) Old pals coming together for a dinner long overdue. Surprisingly Muthu's Curry is like Crystal Jade serving Indian fare. Not particularly spicy and good if you wanna try to gorge on Indian food. Bad for my digestion though. Nowadays my stomach CMI, must eat regular small meals. If not it goes to all sorts of nonsense that takes a few days to sort itself out.
Dinner was an excuse to chat, tease, joke and ponder on issues. It was really quite good as i got several point of views on some topics close to heart, and also got quite a bit of personal experiences thrown around.
K gtg koonz le.. its 2 in the morning. and tomolo is yet another rushed dayz.. bahz.
lost child stumbling along. [9:39 AM]
i suck at organising people events.. lol i mean i can definately get the nitty gritty details out, but i definately lack in the compartment to bring out the life of the party so to speak.. butz anyway, my aim was done.
Perhaps last time why i was a tad cool towards people and young kids are that they always remind me of my brothers. Of coz babies and young kids are cute and adorable as all can see (and moon about) but the process of bringing them up is a torturous and pain filled experience i doubt all people can see clearly. You see the smiles, i see the hard work.
and perhaps I see the guilt too. I feel it when i start treating outside people wif courtesy and perhaps more charm than at home coz at home i tend to take people for granted. I cant live with myself if i go all agaga about some kid while i am strict and demanding on my brothers at times. But thinking more thoroughly on it, i guess although me and second brother seldom talk, we are at ease with each other as after all we've seen thru 18 yrs together. Ironically, the little brother i have i am strict and at times impatient with him as i demand alot from him. In a family of all guys, communication is done mainly by games, chasing round the house, mock fighting, work, play, fights and quarrels. LoL, so we grow up all to be boyish fun loving, rowdy, goal orientated and with egos all.
But well now at least, i am trying to change on my outside front and my inside front. To be the same inside the house as outside it as Atticus Finch is. Way tuffer than it seems.
Life does seem strange that I will miss my brother's POP, A level results, my little brother's AQ race and exams... but life goes on, hardly sentimental.
Images from the past, float up and print themselves on the present... yet the soul of the past, echoes faintly in my mind. Phantoms they seem, yet phantoms come to life... if you still believe.
lost child stumbling along. [9:34 PM]
Its kinda funny in a black humourish way how people can still make basic mistakes in communication wif people they tot they knew well. Sometimes its also strikes me how people can change under stress or frustation or other factors that make them react all too different.
but we all have our flaws and our quirks and our idiosynchronsies. Not to mention our pride our temper our mulelishness. On their own they are minor irritation but sometimes more often than not we meet people and circumstances that magnify them all so humilatingly huge...
its funny if u can rise above the red mist, take a few steps back and see if for what it seems... and the funniest part? it can be sooo easily sidestepped or avoided that i laugh at the inaneness and triviality of fate
lost child stumbling along. [6:00 AM]
my parents are right. I need to learn to leash my temper and curb my impatience. Its just so difficult especially at home. I flare up at the slightest delays, unnecessary changes, inefficiency.
My face would blacken, i would suck in a breath and release it in a hiss and my tone will become oh so irritated. Worse i will growl at people. lol
Life is full of minor setbacks and slow downs.. at this rate i will die of a heart attack early.
have to watch myself. danger lurks
anyway it was yet another boring day.. i think i am a work/activity junkie manz
lost child stumbling along. [7:51 AM]
sometimes i just feel in the mood of listening to some chill out music, invisible on msn, feeling the fan caressing my legs while i type and muse aloud... just like now.
read someone's blog recently and i was really taken back by the apparently shallowness. But while i was ready to condemn, i realised at least the blogger had been honest. that i sometimes harboured the same tots but at least had some presence of mind to restrain myself. Doesnt it make me the same?
was involved in a mass discussion on activities this week. there were obvious signs that we were all growing up growing apart. No longer so hyper, no longer so reckless, no longer so passionate. there was wisdom in the reckless and the feckless, crudity in the wise, reserved. almost that diffusion happened.. or aged.
sometimes i feel i am yet another stupid idiotic childish boy who still needs much more whipping and guidance in the world. but the irony is, i have yet to see a really mature dood around. Those who hold themselves above all, disdaining all i feel they are just unrealistic, avoiding problems rather than solving them, while others mull on trivialities.
as the days go by, i feel more and more like staying at home. Funny how different our characters are. funny how i still allow myself to be stuck in an orbit around this sun. although sometimes i feel like bored to death, i would prefer chilling at home to going out. Books keep me in my own world.
its funny how guy ties can run. its odd to women i suppose, sometimes its odd even to me. but it lasts... i dunno how but it does and i am grateful that it does.
yeah another day ends...
lost child stumbling along. [7:55 AM]
sat vball was quite sad as very very few peeps were arnd and too many bday parties people had to attend.. left so pathetic few that Mr Lim recruited us to relay the vball court lines instead lorz.. so we spent most of the time scrubbing the floor clean and sticking duct tape... Morning went shopping again for parka pants, another Levi's jeans and some electrical stuff. Shopping makes me utterly SAEH! after a few hours i am like half dead.. bahz.. not a shopper.
ah lim ask me to join bishan csc to play coz now players must live in the estate to play... Bishan last time super strong lorz.. lol since when can such a wu ming xiao zu (no name small soldier) like me sneak in? haha yes last time mebbe huh? when i got a bigger ego and det to prove something. Now old and slow.. hahah actually more like blind inflexible inconsistent and slow... i need lots of training to even make it to any team. And time to make a pair of sports specs again after yrs of playing half blind. Mebbe i continue vball in nz come back once a while play inter con? mebbe??? leisure dream lar har for now.
Dinner was fast as among 5 guys it can only be as slow as i dunno the most ladylike recruit? but we spent most of the time gossiping away. Men gossip. Gals excluded. coz when we share guys say gals dun say GUYS ALWAYS LUGI!
Had to drag myself outta bed this morn at 5 plus to bathe and prepped for the looong trip to changi. Missed the FIRST train though but i ended up making morning calls lorz... reached on time wif david and Hy and david is really good wif kids. He is like Bryan's father lorz.. even bought a Happy Meal for him to get the toy. lol All those looking for a good father? Ya got your man.
The rest of the day was rather lacklustre imo. Coz people got their own commitments and some of us have been up since dunno since when and we are shagged. perhaps we are old already, not so fun loving, not so energetic, not so reckless... all got your own priorities and commitments.
went home instead of her hse coz was supposed to teach my bro lit, also to eat dinner at home. Got some stuff to do and prep for a looong day tomolo again. (i prefer dealing wif work rather than people at times) and of coz stick to my PT regime. my 4 mth old baby is being shaped into something more sexy hahah.
Anyway she looked good. Better than ever. hehz
Gonna koonz.
anybody think i am a sucker? hahah i think i am a perpetual sucker hahahahahhahahah so dumb.
lost child stumbling along. [8:12 AM]
my Name
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